Make That Change
I am completely aware of the fine line between supporting a student through their education and limiting their potential but with the age I am working with (2nd-3rd grade), a lot of students truly do need time away from the busy and quick classroom! It's still so early but I am starting the year feeling so much more confident and at ease with my routine and my students. For the past two years, I was in a constant battle with myself about how nice or how stern to be and something finally clicked with me... every year is a fresh start for both students and educators.
More so than in the years before, I really emphasized my expectations and did so with a firm tone rather than a friendly one. I finally realized that as much as I care for my students and want them to know that, I can show it in different ways than letting them walk all over me. For example, I read in many teacher-advice books that it's easier to lead with strong expectations and then become more easy-going than the opposite. Now, I still have some difficulty with a few students like always but they seem to listen to me when I redirect their attention or intentions. Plus, when they are following my plan, I can then hype them like I love to do!
Just like myself, students at a young age crave consistency and typically when they don't know what to expect or are unsure of what they can or cannot get away with, they test the limits. So because I have made it overly clear of what I do and don't want to see when we work together, the students feel a sense of comfort. I noticed one of the students that I have the privilege of taking individually was attempting to push my buttons and see how much he could get away with so I sat down with him and very bluntly told him that what he was doing was unacceptable or as we say at my school "unexpected". I still make an effort to highlight what they do well or what I hope to see instead of focusing on the negative behavior but now, I frame the conversation to be more centered around how I know they are capable of better. I also added in for this child who is very compassionate and caring towards his teachers that I didn't feel that he cared or respected me. That really turned it around for him...
Ever since that quick reminder, he has been a model student and following my routine with no hiccups or resistance. He seems so much more motivated and eager to show off what he knows and makes me so grateful. I have another student at the tutoring center I work at that was completely unmotivated but I held her to a higher standard and kept repeating to her that I knew she could do more and now, she is demonstrating skills I didn't even know she had!
Now back to my huge sign from above (and the reason why I titled my blog post "make that change"). I have two students in one group currently and originally, I thought they would be a perfect fit but a lot since then has shown me that I was wrong. I am all about giving second, third and fourth chances and continuing to push through even when it's not perfect, especially when it's still so early in the year but it was more than that. One of them very confidently told me that he doesn't feel like he should be working with his friend anymore because it's too distracting and I agree with him. They both have a difficult time taking turns, listening to each other, and gets to the point where they stop following my plan to argue.
If this was any other year, I would've kept at it and spent the majority of my 45 minute-block with them reteaching expectations and holding their hand but they are in third grade now. I realize that there's still a lot of learning to be done surrounding social skills but because they both receive that from our amazing adjustment counselor, I felt as though it was best to keep them separate... but I was still unsure. Did I really want to give up in a sense? What was the other student going to think when I go to explain to her that she is not going to be working with me anymore? Is it fair that I dump a new student onto my colleague's caseload? The list kept getting longer and longer as I was driving home on Friday afternoon, stuck in traffic... but then something magical happened.
Playing on the radio was Michael Jackson's Man in the Mirror. There are a bunch of songs that I hear almost daily because I listen to the same 6 radio stations consistently but this was not one of those songs. I hear it maybe once every few months but I was meant to be on the specific station at just the right time to hear it again. The beginning verse starts with
"I'm gonna make a changeFor once in my lifeIt's gonna feel real goodGonna make a difference"
and the song ends with "You know it, You know, Change, Make that change". I am still in awe but it proved to me that I had to eliminate all of my doubt and just go for it. I am eager to help not only the two students but also myself for the days and months ahead.
I now have to head out to rehearsal which has also been super incredible lately but more on that next month! Whoever you are out there reading this (or maybe it's me in a few years), remember to make that change to make a positive difference!