Getting Back into Things
So, what have I been doing you might ask? It's the usual combination of teaching, stage managing and of course, creating or maintaining various friendships. Although I remained vigilant for years, no matter how busy life would get, 2025 felt different... but not necessarily in a bad way. I found myself rushing home from school to eat a quick dinner and then head to rehearsal. And no, rehearsals weren't every night but those that weren't surrounding by actors were at home with my younger sister (who I lived with at the time). We spent a year living together and we did make the best out of it but we both agreed to part ways after our lease was over. I do miss some aspects of living with her and we had some great memories and adventures together but I also love living alone.
I am now back in the same one-bedroom apartment that I had in 2023, just up two floors! Some people think it's weird but I knew it was something I enjoyed and it wasn't too far from my school so I thought why not? Plus it still turns out to be the most affordable (yet spacious) and available when I needed to move. Even with the stress of moving and the ever-present overwhelming feelings wrapped in teaching, I do remain optimistic and eager to proceed through life's events.
I've become closer with some good people, specifically colleagues that really appreciate me for who I am and I will always feel so grateful for those! Plus, I have had some awesome summer memories like seeing Back to the Future the Musical in Boston, celebrating my 26th birthday early with my extended family, stage managing the magical Circle Mirror Transformation, seeing so many other performances around me, visiting California and meeting my girlfriend!
Yes, you heard that right, I went to California! It was so fun seeing both of my brothers and experiencing life out there for a week. We did some beach walks, a cool hike, went bowling, went to six flags, successfully escaped an escape room and ate good food! It was a change of pace from my typical Florida summer trip but I am glad I could fit it in before heading back to school...
Oh you wanted me to discuss my girlfriend? Oh she's the most genuine and thoughtful person and I am lucky enough to be her boyfriend. We met at a second grade field trip and connected soon after. She was one of the few people in my life that expressed an authentic curiosity for me and my story so through many hours of deliberation, I finally summoned the courage to ask her out and she said yes! We've been dating for almost 2 months but it feels like so much longer. We love going on adventures, chatting for hours and just being with one another. I could go on and on about how lucky I feel to have crossed paths with her and cannot wait to see where life takes us next...
Speaking of what comes next, I plan to return to monthly blog posts and will hopefully be uploading a new Alex Adventures vlog in the next few weeks! I do miss posting and editing will always be a fun hobby but it hasn't been on the top of my to do list lately. I also have some podcast guests ready, I just have to start planning and getting back into things!
For anyone who is reading, thank you for your support! I hope you have at least been enjoying my weekly reels on instagram, which is the one thing I have been able to keep up with! It's been a lot of fun pushing myself to create funny little videos. Most don't get a whole lot of attention but it's less about the views/likes and more about how much joy I get out of making them! Hoping I can reach more people with my other content coming soon!!
First Appearance in 2025
As I progress through my third year of teaching, there have been some really awesome moments but there have also been some tough ones. Just with one student alone, I have seen him improve with his handwriting, spelling, reading and overall motivation to do his best work some days but then other days, he is ripping up papers and glaring at me like I am his mortal enemy. Another one can become super determined and eager to follow my directions perfect one second and then become super overwhelmed and shut down the next. I have two students for math that have made great growth in some aspects and are starting to use tools like a multiplication chart with more ease but for some reason, they don't always listen to me when I truly just trying to help them. Oh and then one who requests that when he has a good day with me to get a hug will completely ignore me and choose to make a mess instead of working whenever he feels like it.
So I guess my point being is that each of my students show some great skills and I love working with them, even with their challenges. I have to remind myself that these kids are not only still developing their moral compass but they also have their own learning or social obstacles that are just part of who they are. The fact that they can come to school each day, even with the massive hurdles they must be jumping over, is something to be thankful for. I have also been having a lot of fun challenging myself to remember more and more students' names, even if I don't see them that often.
Ever since I was young, I found it so exhilarating to greet people by name and genuinely try to bring a smile to their faces. That is still the same now and I get to do it with these young students that may even look up to me and be inspired to also spread kindness to those around them. There is so much that happens during the school day and if I can provide even a second of happiness in the students' lives, I consider it a success. I have also been building relationships with my colleagues, specifically one with my new director of special education. That role has changed four times since I started and I am hopeful that this one will stick around for more than a year (hopefully).
The last piece of the beginning of 2025 that I wanted to share was starting up Shrek the Musical with Windham Actors Guild! This time last year, I was involved with Beauty and the Beast with the same company and this year feels the same yet different. For one, the director is a different person and although he is similar than the one I worked with last year, I have a feeling the rehearsals are going to be a different vibe, but not in a bad way! Plus, we had over forty people audition including some of my really good friends that I have made through the other theater company I worked at over the summer. They were all so nervous yet excited for this opportunity and unfortunately one of them didn't make it in the cast but the rest are super eager to get started on Tuesday.
I hope to see you all again soon with either new podcast episodes or at the very least, a new blog post before February is over. I am a very routined person but when I lose my motivation to stick to the routine I had created since 2021, that then becomes my new routine. But I do love reflecting on each month for my future self to read when I am bored and I do enjoy seeing the growth over the years so I am back for the year and beyond! Thank you for reading and stay validating!
I am NOT Giving up!
As much as I have been enjoying my non-stop schedule that includes around-the-clock responsibilities, I still place a priority on downtime, sleep and fun. With so much to juggle at once, I have had to let something go, especially if that something is intended to be all about positivity and validation. From the beginning (and as I have reiterated a few times in the past), I never want my work on my channel or podcast to be a stressful thing because then it will become a chore. Not to mention, there were lots of experiences this past year that couldn't be captured through a vlog.
My Vegas trip in February was a perfect opportunity that I took advantage of and I was hopeful that there would be more in the days to follow but we are now just a few weeks away from Christmas, and I am working on trying to recount exactly where the time went. Summer tends to be a little more flexible and allows for adventures but with working at Extended School Year and balancing a musical, it flew by as well. I am going to release an update video tomorrow on The Validating Channel that will go more in depth but the main takeaway of today's blog post is that I am hopeful that The Validating Podcast will return for Season 4 in 2024!
I have met some truly incredible people recently that expressed enthusiasm to be on the podcast and it motivated me to finally sit down and write out some plans! If all goes according to plan, I will be able to release four episodes before the clock strikes midnight on January 1. I have a very busy December but with the determination to continue what I truly love before the new year, I am hopeful I will be able to create at least a few episodes! I will check back in after the holidays to reflect on how successful I was but wish me luck!
It would be foolish to omit that I have been still consistently creating a different platform that YouTube! Scared that I might jinx it, I have not missed a single week of creating an Instagram Reel since the beginning of 2023! I find that I can still spread little doses of positivity through them and they take me a fraction of the time that my videos typically take. I feel as though I have had these same words come out earlier in the year (or the year before) but I am excited to move forward with weekly reels for 2025 as well!
Thank you, whoever you are, for sticking with me and future Alex if you are reading this, be proud of all of the hard work you have put into everything you do! You are being noticed for remaining supportive and happy through tough times and let's not change that! See you all very soon for The Validating Podcast Season 4!
Make That Change
I am completely aware of the fine line between supporting a student through their education and limiting their potential but with the age I am working with (2nd-3rd grade), a lot of students truly do need time away from the busy and quick classroom! It's still so early but I am starting the year feeling so much more confident and at ease with my routine and my students. For the past two years, I was in a constant battle with myself about how nice or how stern to be and something finally clicked with me... every year is a fresh start for both students and educators.
More so than in the years before, I really emphasized my expectations and did so with a firm tone rather than a friendly one. I finally realized that as much as I care for my students and want them to know that, I can show it in different ways than letting them walk all over me. For example, I read in many teacher-advice books that it's easier to lead with strong expectations and then become more easy-going than the opposite. Now, I still have some difficulty with a few students like always but they seem to listen to me when I redirect their attention or intentions. Plus, when they are following my plan, I can then hype them like I love to do!
Just like myself, students at a young age crave consistency and typically when they don't know what to expect or are unsure of what they can or cannot get away with, they test the limits. So because I have made it overly clear of what I do and don't want to see when we work together, the students feel a sense of comfort. I noticed one of the students that I have the privilege of taking individually was attempting to push my buttons and see how much he could get away with so I sat down with him and very bluntly told him that what he was doing was unacceptable or as we say at my school "unexpected". I still make an effort to highlight what they do well or what I hope to see instead of focusing on the negative behavior but now, I frame the conversation to be more centered around how I know they are capable of better. I also added in for this child who is very compassionate and caring towards his teachers that I didn't feel that he cared or respected me. That really turned it around for him...
Ever since that quick reminder, he has been a model student and following my routine with no hiccups or resistance. He seems so much more motivated and eager to show off what he knows and makes me so grateful. I have another student at the tutoring center I work at that was completely unmotivated but I held her to a higher standard and kept repeating to her that I knew she could do more and now, she is demonstrating skills I didn't even know she had!
Now back to my huge sign from above (and the reason why I titled my blog post "make that change"). I have two students in one group currently and originally, I thought they would be a perfect fit but a lot since then has shown me that I was wrong. I am all about giving second, third and fourth chances and continuing to push through even when it's not perfect, especially when it's still so early in the year but it was more than that. One of them very confidently told me that he doesn't feel like he should be working with his friend anymore because it's too distracting and I agree with him. They both have a difficult time taking turns, listening to each other, and gets to the point where they stop following my plan to argue.
If this was any other year, I would've kept at it and spent the majority of my 45 minute-block with them reteaching expectations and holding their hand but they are in third grade now. I realize that there's still a lot of learning to be done surrounding social skills but because they both receive that from our amazing adjustment counselor, I felt as though it was best to keep them separate... but I was still unsure. Did I really want to give up in a sense? What was the other student going to think when I go to explain to her that she is not going to be working with me anymore? Is it fair that I dump a new student onto my colleague's caseload? The list kept getting longer and longer as I was driving home on Friday afternoon, stuck in traffic... but then something magical happened.
Playing on the radio was Michael Jackson's Man in the Mirror. There are a bunch of songs that I hear almost daily because I listen to the same 6 radio stations consistently but this was not one of those songs. I hear it maybe once every few months but I was meant to be on the specific station at just the right time to hear it again. The beginning verse starts with
"I'm gonna make a change
For once in my life
It's gonna feel real good
Gonna make a difference"
and the song ends with "You know it, You know, Change, Make that change". I am still in awe but it proved to me that I had to eliminate all of my doubt and just go for it. I am eager to help not only the two students but also myself for the days and months ahead.
I now have to head out to rehearsal which has also been super incredible lately but more on that next month! Whoever you are out there reading this (or maybe it's me in a few years), remember to make that change to make a positive difference!
Another Successful Summer!
Don't ask me why but even after going to school for 5 years and spending tens of thousands of dollars, there are still more opportunities to expand my learning with the incentive of getting paid more. Don't get me wrong, I do love learning about how to improve my teaching because I think I am still far from perfect, but what I don't enjoy is that I have to pay money to make more. Luckily, nowadays, there are lots of choices in terms of what kind of courses I can take to prevent any unnecessary repetition or inapplicable content. I decided to take a course all about incorporating games into students' learning and one about technology.
Although they both went by quickly, I felt as though I didn't take too much away from either one. Yes, I learned a little more about what I already knew and I had gained a few resources to add to my toolbox but overall, I felt like I could've spent my money on something more practical. Thankfully, after lots of procrastination, I could complete both classes, receiving full credit on one and still waiting to hear back about the other. I managed to avoid almost all work or non-preferred tasks while in Florida which allowed me to do absolutely nothing except recharge.
I describe my summer trips down to Florida as low-key because I don't need a whole lot to be entertained or satisfied as just being in my parents' home is relaxing enough. I love the change of scenery, and not even for the warmer weather. It's more about the physical distance between the stuff that causes my stress and the lack of urgency that I crave each year around this time. I was finally able to motivate myself to sit down and read for pleasure which is something I knew I loved doing, I just never "had time". I read 450 pages in a week, which is a new personal record and now has relaunched my love of reading. I am hopeful that I will read more consistently now that I am back in MA but with school starting up again, who knows.
It wasn't all reading and relaxation though because we had planned four days at Walt Disney World this time around. We fit in so much in a short amount of time but this was the first time that the six of us were all in Disney at one time. From mini golfing to riding new rides to seeing a lot of live shows/fireworks, it was a magical experience. I loved being able to try out Tiana's Bayou Adventure and Tron for the first time, while also revisiting my favorites like Space Mountain, Tower of Terror, Expedition Everest Flight of Passage, Toy Story Mania and newly-added, Cosmic Rewind. It was hot and there were so many others that made the parks very busy, but we still made the best of it and I would consider it very successful.
Each night, I would get back to the hotel feeling exhausted, just to wake up a few hours later to do it all over again. We took advantage of their new system called Lighting Lanes which helped us get on the rides that are unbelievably long lines and allowed us to sprinkle in some fun stuff in between. So much of Disney is truly fun and if not, it's so nostalgic that makes me always wanting to go back. The Magic Kingdom Firework Show "Happily Ever After" always brings a smile to my face and makes the hours of standing shoulder to shoulder with a stranger all worth it. We stayed at the Yacht Club which is so nice and within walking distance to two of the parks and Boardwalk. My whole family enjoyed themselves for seemingly different reasons and we all can't wait for our next adventure!
And now, I sit here, only a few days away from starting a brand new year and as always, it's a mix of emotions. This will be my third year teaching at the same school and I am starting to become a regular teacher that those know and go to for support. I am experimenting with a new system of student services and hoping it goes more smoothly than the unrealistic "coteaching". I still firmly believe that I could've made it work with the right person but I have yet to meet that person and instead of searching for something that doesn't exist, I am attempting to pave a new path. I can already see the stress approaching but I am optimistic that once I get my schedule solidified, it will all be what I am hoping for.
As always, I feel grateful for the opportunities given to me and the moments I have experienced, now it's just about remaining motivated and eager for what's ahead, even when it scares me. I have my flights already booked for Christmas, most likely staying around for Thanksgiving but do have a plan to visit my Ohio friend in November! I have been playing tennis more consistently lately which feels great and I am excited to see what else the fall has in store for me. Plus I even have a few podcast guests lined up, I just have to find the energy to write their scripts and record! Stay tuned!!
Moving, Musicals and More!
Just like a year ago, I ended my school year to head right into packing up an apartment to move onto a new one. This time, though, I went from no roommates to one and a half. My younger sister was looking to find a new place as she has been spending the last several months living with our aunt and uncle who were insistent that she can stay as long as she needs, but she started to feel like she was overstaying her welcome. As a result, we decided to move in together and although she doesn't want it to be because she needed help, it definitely was initiated by her life path. To be fair, I will also be saving a few hundred dollars a month now that rent has significantly decreased! And for those wondering, the half refers to her boyfriend who spends the night from time to time.
Besides the seemingly deceptive moving process that I faced last year, we are both now settled in our new place and we are happy. It's big enough for each of us to have our own space and the shared rooms are open enough where we don't feel trapped. A lot of what was in my old apartment was just brought over and we recently bought a bookshelf, coffee table and bathroom shelf. I experienced Facebook Marketplace for the first time and both interactions were pleasant and we definitely got a good deal from both.
Slowly but surely, I am starting to become familiar with my surroundings (still waiting to try out the nice walking trails right by the river that is super close to us). My new commute has nearly doubled from last year but that was the one downside of this area which I was very aware of before signing the lease. So far, it's been okay with minimal traffic luckily but I am still comparing it to what I used to have and miss it in some ways. That being said, I have no other complaints and the leasing office is extremely friendly and they finally fixed our fridge/freezer!
The other reason July seemed exceptionally busy this year was because I was working on my second community-theater production as an adult. With a different company than the first, I had a lot of learning to do and had to make even more connections. Thankfully, my director and I got along instantly and we are very similarly minded which helped as we moved forward with our cast, who were all consistently eager and talented. The process was truly so fun from start to finish and since it was one of my all-time favorite musicals (25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee), I didn't want it to end! Going to rehearsal each day truly felt like a privilege rather than a job or requirement and now my evenings feel empty. It looks as though the cast hopes to stay in touch beyond our production which helps the post-show blues but I still cherish the time we had creating something truly magical. Overall, the musical seemed to be successful with the executive director claiming he was very pleased and only heard good things from those involved as well as those who attended.
Another part of my summer that I have been enjoying since last year is working at my district's extended year program. Although I believe that students deserve the summer months off from school since they work so hard during the fall, winter and spring, I also see the value in attending an hour a week to maintain the skills and abilities! The majority of students on my roster do not show up but for those that do, I feel like I am supporting them and having fun in the process. There's one student in particular that I met last year and the parents loved me so much that they requested we work together again. This student is so clever and has so much to offer, but doesn't always know how to apply it so I simply just give him the time and space to express his thoughts which seems to make a difference. My assumption is that the busy nature of the school day and year as a whole is overwhelming to him as he is aware that he's different but not yet ready to cope with it. We have some really meaningful chats and I can sense that even with his tendencies to get up in the middle of a lesson, he respects and cares about me like I do about him!
And of course, we also had our annual Fourth of July party earlier this month where the weather was a little more cooperative and I was able to catch up with a lot of my relatives! Then we headed out to Maine to see the other side of the family, go out on the lake and run a 5K! This was my third year running it and my time stayed about the same but I continued my streak of keeping a steady pace without slowing down! It reminds me of life in a way where we are always forced to move forward, whether we want to or not but it's best to keep your head up and stay strong!
Looking ahead, I have two more weeks of summer school and plan to sprinkle in some tennis playing with a friend which has been good to keep me active! Then, in the middle of August, I head down to Florida to visit my parents' home that is the definition of relaxation. Just walking through the door makes me feel at peace, not only because it's a perfectly quiet, cool place to put my feet up but it's also 1,000 miles away from any sort of work or stress. I am arriving a few days before my siblings which gives me some time to catch up on reading (which I am trying to get better at!) and to get used to the humidity. We have a Disney trip planned which will be the first time we are all together in the parks in 6 years! We have already started mapping out what to do each day and I think we each have our own list of what we want checked off before our time is up.
The Validating Channel is still very much alive and well over on Instagram as I continue posting weekly reels, however, the YouTube channel has been lacking. I have been wanting to get back into podcasting but I have now had three people express great interest, we set up a time to record, and then they back out. Of course, I am understanding as we all have our own lives and conflicts but what's difficult is when they don't seem eager to reschedule. And again, I take no offense to it as I know that it's not for everyone and especially the way I do a podcast is a little unusual HOWEVER it makes it very hard to then create content without a podcast partner. I still love vlogging exciting life adventures and editing continues to excite me, but it's not always easy to take out a camera and start filming. Just typing this now, though, does remind me that Season 3 of The Validating Podcast started in August so maybe Season 4 can too... stay tuned!
Almost to the Finish Line!
I continue to remind myself that it's unlikely to get along with everyone that I work with and I don't necessarily have to best friends with them all but what really digs under my skin is the lack of respect and trust. And to make matters worse, the person who seems to question my philosophy and methodology is the one who I am supposed to work closest with. We were both handed a very overwhelming class full of students that require lots of support and guidance to navigate through academic and social tasks. And due to factors out of my control, I became less and less involved with the class and had to be spread elsewhere.
My reputation has been growing in a positive way ever since I started but now it's less about how I am viewed initially but more about how to maintain the reputation I have worked hard to get. So when I am asked to take on another student (or in this case, four more), I feel like no isn't an option. I am not sure when I will finally have the courage to say no and stick up for myself but I do still have faith that all of the hard work and flexibility I truly strive to put out into the world will be all worth it.
So, back to the lack of trust thing. I want to make it very clear that I understand that teaching is a very individual profession and it's impossible to get along with everyone. However, when faced with differences (both with students and colleagues), it's crucial to remain professional and optimistic. One of my best friends and I disagree with this very situation but in my opinion, that even if you may not get along with someone, the best thing to do is act like nothing is wrong and be nice to their face. My friend says it's unhealthy and unfair to "fake" being nice and be truthful with how you feel.
What's odd about the colleague I have been having conflicts with is that she is doing exactly what I do, act like everything is fine and remain polite but deep down, I know that she views me differently. I can't quite put my finger on it and it could be my brain overthinking like it tends to do but I always get the sene that she uses her experience and confidence as an excuse to make all the decisions without a second thought of my perspective. She always seems to focus on the negative or create problems that aren't even there.
Despite the colleague conflict, I am also struggling with keeping the behaviors of some of my students under control. Even with two years of teaching under my belt, my difficulty has stayed the same since my student teaching days. Finding the balance between wanting the students to enjoy working with me while also having them respect me and listen to my expectations. I am slowly but surely gaining the confidence to be stern with the students that become disobedient but even that doesn't always work. I have had many instances where I am practically yelling at the student and they completely disregard what I am saying and continue to misbehave. Another lesson that I have learned is that consistency is crucial for young minds and I have seen that first-hand but I also view it important to make learning fun and engaging.
So, to say the least, I am more than excited to have five and a half days left of this year so I can take a step back and reflect on how to improve for the next! Thankfully, I mustered up the courage to talk to my principal about not continuing coteaching since it hasn't been successful which will help me start off on a high note! I also have a lot to look forward to this summer, both with my summer tutoring and my Florida getaway. It's definitely time for all of us to relax and unwind after 180 days of stress and I couldn't be more excited!
One End Leads to the Beginning of Another
Instead, I now feel confident I can sustainably balance involvement in theater at the same time as teaching. I only experienced college-level productions so now being included into a more mature setting with people that take it a little more seriously, I couldn't be happier. I have been waiting since 2019 to receive the pure joy during and after a performance. The countless hours we put into our project went without any sort of response for months for it all to change for a few days. Although the applause inside of the auditorium did fill me with satisfaction that's hard to describe, the bigger swell of happiness I received was after the final bow.
Once all of the actors head out to the lobby, they are greeted with a wave of excited fans that are there to cheer and love their friends or family members who just contributed to an incredible performance. I did have a few friends (and even my sister and cousin) come out to support me which did fill me with gratitude, however, it was nice to see complete strangers add to the unbelievable amount of love in one room. Our performance weekend was not perfect but it was truly magical and something I hope to never forget!
The hardest part of the whole process wasn't the fact that we were painting the set right before opening doors or that the rose glass covering shattered minutes before starting the show or even when I was stuck in the middle of the dispute that formed between my director and lightning designer. Instead, it was the inevitable end of it all that always seems to creep up and since there are so many other emotions tied with the process, sadness doesn't always bubble to the top before it's all over.
Thankfully, I thought ahead so I wouldn't have to sit in the sadness for too long! And I know I have written a blog post about the very subject of living in the moment instead of being dragged down by the past or too consumed in future plans, but with this, I did enjoy what was right in front of me while also giving my future self something too look forward to! :) I was so excited to see a company that is super close to me was starting a production of 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee (one of, if not my favorite musicals of all time). I originally interviewed for the director position which I was quickly rejected but I remained professional and eager to help out as a stage manger instead.
One quick zoom interview in a staircase later, I received the offer and was told we start two days after my current show wrapped up. In some ways, it would have been nice to have a little bit of a break between the two but at the same time, I am so, gosh-darn thrilled to be involved in this musical too. It's a whole new company with a new director and brand new cast but about a fourth of the people. It's a minimalistic show in terms of the technical elements but has so much more to it than just the words on a page.
Sitting in the read-through the other day made me get all giddy that I have the opportunity to not only work with some amazing people, but also it's awesome feeling so much genuine joy from being in that environment. Everyone is so friendly and eager to get to know each other and we all share the common idea that even though we are weird, that's a strength! So, I do miss my former cast and I created such strong bonds with each of them (including my amazing director), I know that this will be just as incredible. Here's to new beginnings!
On the Hunt for Another Apartment!
My younger sister has been working in Boston for the last year and lives with our uncle and aunt and that could continue for at least a year, if not more but due to some parental pressures and maybe some of her own independent worries, she brought the idea to my attention to move in together. Although I am clearly happy with where I am, I also would love to save a couple hundred dollars a month and live with my sister, who I do disagree and bicker with but of course, love very much. She and I have a funny relationship that I can't even try to explain but the bottom line is that if she is willing to live with me, then I am more than happy to do the same!
We found one place that I thought was absolutely perfect (even closer to work, reasonable price, space for both of us, two of my friends from work lived in the same complex, newly renovated, etc.) but due to some complications, we had to back out even after getting our application accepted. I was sad and a little frustrated but once I got it out of my mind and started to look elsewhere, my sister and I have been excited about other opportunities. She's driving up tomorrow and on Friday, we have four tours and two on Saturday. Out of the six, there are some that we like better but we are keeping our minds open.
My favorite one right now looks absolutely beautiful and has everything I would ever want, however, it's the farthest from work. I don't love the idea of a long commute but I think the positives outweigh the negatives for that one. The rest are closer to work but not nearly as nice and smaller but what's weird is that they are all about the same price. I told my sister that my one request is that I am not going to pay more than I would've if I stay with my current place. Thankfully, she understands which again, will make any longer commute or difference in living situations worth it because I will be saving more money!
I think I have touched upon that before but it's crazy to me that I can work a full-time job and still only make very little net worth with all of life's expenses. Every time I think I will start to go up and up, I stay about the same or even worse, decrease month after month. Fortunately, even with car payments, rent, groceries, gas and everything in between, I am still feeling financially stable and it feels surreal to say! I am hopeful that by my next blog post, I will have my new home settled and we will move in shortly after that! We are hoping to move mid-late June so I can gradually move out all of my stuff (which isn't a huge amount until I start to think about it). I am going to miss my walk-in closet and being five minutes away from Target the most but I know that my new place will have things I love too!
Vegas: Vacation to Virus!
The event that I was anticipating the most turned out to be not just the most exciting but it also soared above all of the very high expectations I had going into it. Very similar to the feeling I receive when I attend a live theatrical production, the magic show that I went to see was so captivating and engaging that I didn't want to leave! As I mentioned in my last blog, I have seen this magician through my TV screen for years and I thought I liked his performance style before but now I may be fully obsessed. He was able to encourage me to smile from the moment the show started to the moment it ended, not just because of the funny jokes or comedic bits but because of the intent and thoughtfulness that went into each second.
Mat Franco is such creative in the way he presents his tricks and knows how to push the limit of what is possible. I love watching magic because I get a sense of wonder and curiosity that doesn't necessarily need to be clarified but instead, just excites me! When watching Mat onstage and truly feel his positive energy run through me inspired that same wonder I feel but instead of it being about how the trick is done, it's more centered around his comfort and natural ability in front of an audience. I don't know if this is making sense because I am still have trouble putting into words just how much I loved this performance. It's one of those experiences that I wish I could relive while at the same time realizing that I could never feel the same way that I did because it was so new to me and so authentic being so close to a man that I admire and look up to!
So that was just 90 minutes of my vacation but it truly was the reason I made this trip happen so I feel so grateful that it lived up to my expectations and more. However, there were a few other moments that I was happy to experience as well. One was just being with my brothers and parents since they always make feel at ease and melt away my stress or uncertainty. We found a beautiful walking trail called Red Rock Canyon just 30 minutes away from the busy, congested strip of Las Vegas and it was unreal. The amount of wide open space that surrounds the city is hard to imagine but it allowed for a break from the smoke and crazy streets.
We also gambled a bit because when I say that there were casinos everywhere, I mean it. Every hotel has hundreds of machines and tables that all want you to waste your money and they truly make it feel endless. I played BlackJack and I can see how it can be addicting and it's honestly very dangerous. To me, it just feels like a video game but instead of fake money that means nothing, you have to put down your hard-earned money down to inevitably see it decrease. I am lucky that I had my family near me to remind me that I wasn't there to waste all of my money!
My dad and I also attended The Beatles LOVE Cirque Du Soleil show and got a last minute upgrade to the very front! The performance was a little odd with many unique costumes and story lines but the songs were amazing and the talent was out of this world. It was jaw-dropping watching many performers just disappear into the ceiling or floor and have no fear as they swing around the stage and above! We saw lots of sights and ate a lot of good food that was new to me! We also went to the Museum of Illusions that had a lot of fun photo opportunities and weird looking experiences.
Looking back, I am so so so glad that I decided to make this happen because I truly had a wonderful time and was fortunate to stay in one of the nicer hotels with the fountain out front! My parents viewed as a "one and done" experience but I can see myself going back in a few years or so, especially if Mat Franco is still performing. There were still some things that I would like to see and now that I am more familiar with the area, I think it would be so awesome.
However, the end of a trip is always difficult as it hits hard when you are forced to go back to reality and it's even worse when you get really sick. I started feeling super tired and had a constant headache for the days following my flight home and at first, I thought it was just recovering from the busy days and lack of sleep but instead of getting better, I got worse. Each day, I woke up with no energy or motivation so I finally went to a clinic to see what was wrong with me... turns out I had COVID.
It was very difficult for me but I was forced to call out of work for the THREE days after a week long vacation and I truly felt awful about it... beyond just the symptoms. I hate taking days off of work especially when everyone I talk with just tells me to relax and rest. I was in so much pain and discomfort that "relaxing" was not even enjoyable. Everything hurt and I was definitely not feeling like myself. I still think that all of the suffering I went through (and am still going through as I recover) is worth it because I truly loved my mini-vacation. It was something out of my comfort zone but truly made me appreciate the work I had to put in to get to Vegas. I am starting to get back into my routines but every once in a while, I still think back to how fun and memorable this trip was and can't wait for my next adventure! I have been trying to edit the many clips and photos I have into a vlog but I have been so busy lately so it may be this weekend or the next, but hopefully soon! Until next time!
Preparing for my Next Adventure!
Las Vegas has a variety of performances and all are intriguing in their own way but the only planned item on my to-list is to see a magician I've been a fan of for ten years now and he's been lucky to have his own show for several of those years. If I were ever to pursue a career in magic, I would look. to him for inspiration because his performance-style is everything I love the most. There are so many different styles of magic and they all have their own wonders and just based on my personal preference, I think his combination of comedy and large-scale illusion is incredible. I have also only witnessed one professional magic show on a big stage before so I can't wait to add this experience to my live theater list.
The magician that I am going to see is named Mat Franco and not only is it going to be so fun seeing him in-person, there's a possibility I might meet him too! I don't know exactly how it works but I have seen lots of fans pose for pictures with him in the past and I even have a connection to this performer too. With one of his fellow performers, Mat created a podcast during the COVID quarantine. Although they have taken a pause on creating new episodes, I was an avid listener and would write into their email to have my questions answered. I even made them a website to showcase their podcast, which was well liked by both! I just emailed them again letting them know that I will be attending Mat's show and I am so curious to see if they will see it or respond before next week.
I keep reminding myself that this magic show that I am hyping up in my mind is only about 2 hours out of the many days I will be staying at a new place! There is so much more that I am anticipating even though I still have yet to plan or look into what exactly I could do. My two older brothers and both of my parents will be joining me in this little vacation, which will be great to have them by my side while we explore. I am hopeful the weather is a bit nicer than MA and we can spend most of our time seeing the sights and trying new things.
I have five school days and three hours of tutoring before flying out, which is very little time considering I have been waiting for this trip for years! It still hasn't hit me that it's literally this Saturday that I will be on my way to a brand new world. I am hoping to document as much as I can but nothing will beat experiencing it all through my own eyes! I am hoping for good food, unforgettable opportunities and genuine fun, which I think is guaranteed! Stay tuned for the newest chapter of Alex's Adventures coming at the end of the month where I will give you all a glimpse of this unique journey!
What's Been Happening Lately!
First, I have my new car! I am so happy to say that through the help and guidance from my sister, mother and father, I was able to eliminate the unnecessary (and ridiculously expensive) car warranty! I am now driving the new car consistently, gave away my old one to my sister and not wasting thousands of dollars. I currently send my dad a few hundred dollars a month (scheduled for four years) but other than that, the car is officially mine! I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders not worrying about the older one potentially breaking down at any time as well as feeling comfortable in something new. It was a lot to convince myself that the money that I have worked so hard to get is now gone but I think it's for the best.
Speaking of money, that was my other big stress at the end of last year and it continues to be. My monthly costs continue to pile up but I have to remind myself that I am also gaining a steady income with opportunities continuing to arise. Teaching is my main job and does provide the most in amount but most in consistency as well. As far as I can tell, my current district is happy with the work I do and the impact I make so I will continue to increase my salary as I work for more years. I also have my part time job as a tutor that provides a little bit of pocket money and is always so flexible.
There are also two other possibilities when I think about how to earn money. One involves the theater organization I recently started with in the fall of last year. They don't guarantee a stipend for stage managers but the upcoming show, Beauty and the Beast, does come with one! When I first signed up to do this, I never wanted money to be a motivator but it definitely acts a bonus. Not to mention, I also just today saw a posting for a director in my town for a show that I am very fond of. The best part is that it would start in May and into the summer so I could really focus my energy on it without getting too overworked. Something to consider for sure...
I have also been receiving very little but some money for the resources I have created and put on a website for other educators to purchase. At some point, I do want to upload more and really see more money flowing in without too much work on my end. There are a few worksheets and materials I use with my students already that it would just take a few minutes to publish and make it look perfect but it's currently not on the top of my to-do list.
Another big purchase I have made is my flights and show tickets to LAS VEGAS. For a few years, I have been dreaming of visiting Las Vegas primarily to watch a magician and just to say that I've been. My brother was the biggest supporter and with lots of encouragement, convinced me and my parents to book our trip! We leave in a little over a month and I am so excited! It reminds me of my Disney trip last year where it was only a few days and definitely cost more than if I just stayed home but it will be an unforgettable experience!
The last part of my stress comes from the amount of students that I am responsible for at school. I attempt to remind myself that I am doing my best and that's all anyone can ask. If it's not working, I am confident that my colleagues and I could work together to create a better solution. What I am grateful for is those situations that aren't ideal are being treated with flexibility and understanding. I have one set of parents who did report positive things about me from last year and that's been helping going into any difficulties this year but still brings up a lot of negative feelings.
As always, I keep in mind what I am grateful for and the small victories. For example, I am still loving living alone and smile to myself just how much I love it. I get giddy thinking about how much my family loves me, even if they don't always express it. This last weekend it was very snowy and my friend who originally said yes to going to a musical we had planned for months was too nervous to go. I completely understood but also didn't want to lose out on the fun experience (and 90 bucks) so my sister was kind enough to go with me. She said something along the lines that it wasn't her favorite thing but was the best it could've been, which I am so thankful for.
I am so happy that I do have a job to go to each day, even through all the stress and cold mornings. I don't think I would be the same person without my students and colleagues pushing me to remain positive and authentically myself. Every day brings new challenges and I do have thoughts of what else I could be doing but it's not because it's unhappy, it's because I think I can do more. Some possibilities include going into the mental health field or even becoming a professor down the road. And to wrap up this first post of 2024, I look forward to learning more about how to be the best educator for my students and to my side quests along the way to provide limitless positivity!
A Lot on my Mind
The biggest weight on my shoulders has to do with my car. For the last couple of years, I have been driving around an almost-twenty year old car that was originally my father's that then passed down to my two brothers and then to me. Everyone tells me that it's dependable and can last longer than I am imagining but I have been searching for a new car recently. And to clarify, by new I mean a used car that may not be perfect but is at least an upgrade and doesn't have any large issues. Currently, my car makes an awful, rumbling sound anytime I try to accelerate and I am getting nervous of how much longer it will last.
So, this weekend I went to test drive a car and I loved it. The price was reasonable and I saw (and heard) no flaws but of course, I made a mistake. I fell into the trap of the salesman and signed to pay for a five year warranty that I truly don't need. On the bright side, I didn't pay for the car yet and there's a chance I can back out of the cost but as of right now, I am still waiting to hear back from the car salesman. It may be solved easily and I will go back to feeling excited and thankful for my new car!
In other news, I am now adding two students to my caseload that were actually my students last year. I, of course, love all students and am very patient with them as they learn in their own unique ways HOWEVER they require a lot of time, energy and attention. Not to mention that I have my other 7 students that are already using up most of my energy and I won't be able to support the class as a whole because I will be with these two third graders for 90 minutes every day. My principal and their past teacher assured me that they want to help me with this transition but it still feels like all of the pressure is on my shoulders. It's going to take some getting used to and I am nervous that I won't be able to be my best going forward.
One last thing I will mention is the constant state of feeling like I am not making enough money and will never have a stable savings account. I have been staying afloat for the last few years while living on my own but eventually, I am going to have a family and other expenses. Although it's still in the distant future, that also concerns me as I don't have any solid plans for what's ahead. Things are going well, I like my job and colleagues but it does get very stressful and I don't know how sustainable it is. I have been making awesome connections in my theater company and received many compliments but where will that lead me?
Well I am nearing the end of my rambles and I still feel a little overwhelmed. I think it's a step in the right direction that I am recognizing my stress but I am still working on how to reduce it. I am trying to get myself to take a personal day to just relax and not think about everything for a while or maybe start a dating app or travel to Las Vegas but those all have stressful factors too. As always, I am still happy and grateful for what life has given me and I couldn't be more excited in about 12 days, I will be on my way to my family for Christmas. It will provide me time to just recharge and ignore life for a while which I think is needed every once in a while! See you in 2024!
Where does the Time go??
So much of our lives are spent planning or scheduling a variety of things whether they are appointments, fun outings, or anything in between. I will always remember a discussion I had with my dad so long ago that I can't recall how old I was but it still sticks out in my brain. We were talking about the upcoming Christmas holiday and young me was saying that I wish I could just skip right to Christmas morning and open all of my presents. As his response, my father said something along the lines of recommending not to wish time away.
We chatted about how if you are constantly hoping to skip to the fun moments or holidays or plans, life will rush by and what you are looking forward to will seem to be over before it begins. That has been at the front of my brain lately for whatever reason because I truly think back to big milestones in my life and they are already becoming more and more distant. Taking it back to graduating high school, I always thought of 2017 as the far away year that I will arrive at someday but now it's almost been 7 years ago. Since then, I have graduated from college and received two degrees in education and completed my first year teaching.
But those "big" moments, as well as moving out of my parents' home in 2021, have been main takeaways of these blog posts so I don't want to sound repetitive. The point I am trying to make with this post, only 57 days away form 2024, is that so much of what I looked forward to is now a part of a fading memory. Even as I am writing this, I am struggling to remember if I have written about this in the past but like everyone else, I don't remember everything that I have done. Despite that uncertain thoughts, I am more concerned with the unavoidable habit of looking forward to what I have ahead but ultimately forgetting it years (or even months) later.
That's why I am so motivated to write or document various points in my life, even those that seem mundane. I wish there was the ability to sort through memories and play them like a movie to not only enjoy what's happening in the moment but also enjoy it forever. I am already planning to start posting more next year with photos or videos but not with the fancy edits. Not because I am losing interest or motivation to create but because I want to continue the ability to look back on moments without the stress or wasted time on making it picture-perfect.
My mind is starting to get in the habit of viewing life as a long checklist and just crossing off the days as they come and go but it's so much more than that! It's about meeting so many wonderful people and creating meaningful relationships through incredible opportunities. Even if it seems to fly by and some moments may never be thought of again, enjoying what is right in front of you is always important to do! I have no idea how much sense I just made with this post but it was mostly just for me to put into words how conflicted I get with the balance of looking ahead while also cherishing what's directly in front of me! Today, I am grateful for the cinnamon rolls I may have burnt in the oven but still tasted and smelled delicious and eager to lead another fun rehearsal!
This is a Part of Me
I have heard these words sung by Katy Perry countless times but it wasn't until recently that I really connected the lyrics with something specific. Ever since 6th grade, when I decided that pretending to be "cool" was not worth the trouble, I have always placed a priority on doing what I want to do in hopes of encouraging myself and those around me to be happy. Supporting others to be authentic reminds me that our world works best when we all bring our own unique qualities to then spread joy and acceptance. As a teacher, I have been continuing to embrace every student and every personality. So as I look back on the last several years, I do firmly believe I stay true to who I am and through all of the ups and downs, however there is one part of me that has been taken away.
Not intentionally of course, but when I eagerly accepted my first real teaching opportunity, one of my hobbies had to take a backseat. Something that I started during my first week of high school that quickly became a life-changing experience for the next decade. Something that pushed me to take risks even when I didn't even know what it was going to lead to. Something that taught me so much about how to work alongside so many others in a professional manner. And lastly, something that boosted my confidence in more ways than one.
That something is theater. During my first year of teaching, I experienced so much joy and so much fulfillment because all of my hard work and hours of studying/preparing had paid off. It truly was an incredible feeling and I am grateful that I always find something else to love about the teacher role. I have been gradually introducing more strategies and ideas that make this amazing job even better. My goal is to genuinely look forward to each day that has the potential to be the best day ever. Without realizing, everything that makes teaching better stems from theater.
Creating engaging lessons, providing opportunities for students to showcase their knowledge in unique ways, encouraging students to use their "powerful" voice, or even just cheering them on as they achieve their small victories are all a bit easier with a theater background. I have been taught to make big choices to properly entertain (or maintain the attention) of your audience (or students). Not to mention, this year specifically I have been striving to show off my ability and love to edit together videos in hopes of building up the school's community and making everyone smile.
So you may be asking why I mentioned that theater, that still influences my job in so many ways, has been taken away. Despite the several shows that I have been an audience member for, I have not been involved in a theater production since last year. To be clear, I am so grateful to have had so many unforgettable experiences from high school roles to graduate school opportunities, but I wanted more. Specifically, the role of the Stage Manager has always had a special place in my heart.
Teaching is more than a full time job, uses up a lot of my energy and there are a few days a week that all I want to do after the students leave is go to bed. However, there are still some nights that I am itching to do more. Since June, I have been searching for possible stage manager listings that are close by and flexible with a full time job. That's when I found the Windham Actors Guild in NH who were looking for exactly what I was offering! As always, everything fell into place and I am so excited to announce that they accepted me to be a part of their future productions!
In just a few days, I start a brand new production with brand new people and I couldn't be more excited! It may be a lot to balance teaching and theater but I couldn't pass up on this incredible offer. As always, there is some stress but I am confident that this is where I am meant to be and that if it ends up being too much, I will know that for future years. Teaching does make me so happy in so many ways but theater does too so I am eager to do both at the same time! If you are reading this, don't be afraid to keep up with your hobbies, even if you do have the job of your dreams!
Best of Both Worlds
It's also so crucial that I mention how much more comfortable and confident I feel heading into this year versus last but I am wondering how many years of experience I will need to have under my belt to feel fully ready for the start of a new one. It may just be an avoidable stress of the uncertainty, even if it decreases each year. For example, I was just talking to my friends about how I had so much learning to do about the school's systems and procedures that I don't have to relearn and that I can prepare for. With my job, there is a lot of record keeping that overwhelmed me last year that I now have an excitement for!
I am also now used to the second grade behaviors and aspects that I was unfamiliar with after my sixth grade internship. So it feels great to have a little more preparation, both for my own sake but for my colleagues and students as well. But I still can't shake the feeling that I could be doing better or doing more. Once the year starts, there is not a whole lot of time to think or prepare because I am a firm believer in taking care of myself instead of being completely burnt out from my job that I want to love.
Teaching is an odd profession because a lot of the time, you are the only person keeping yourself accountable. Sure, principals come around for observations and other educators will support you when you ask for help, but there could be days, or even weeks, that pass and if you put on a face like you know what you are doing, everyone will just trust that. In some ways, I enjoy the independence and confidence that they have in me but it also terrifies me. Students, at any age but specifically the younger ones, really do get shaped by their teachers.
So there's always a voice in my head that is wondering if I am really helping my students achieve their individual goals as well as the state standards. If my past self taught me anything last year, it's to prepare more than you think, be consistently firm with expectations, be true to myself and be grateful for what I have. My friend and recent podcast guest, Kendall, and I were just chatting about how the coteaching position I was offered last year and will be continuing is truly the best of both worlds.
I have learned that special education is truly where I thrive as a teacher and encourages me to feel more confident in my abilities. Full-class instruction is fun and I thought I had the endurance to do it all day every day but it doesn't fit my style. I prefer to check in with students and meet them where they are at. That's just not possible when you have 18 or more pairs of eyes staring you down, eagerly waiting for the next direction. So, that's where my small groups come in handy. It's more of a discussion and has a flexible pace that I (and my students) love.
When I first accepted the coteaching role, I never knew just how much I was going to enjoy the balance of the position. It is still something our district is trying to master and I definitely didn't do everything perfectly but I can see the potential. Just like in a student that may have a glimpse of understanding in a concept, I feel like I see the light at the end of the tunnel with coteaching. It's not easy, it's not natural, it definitely has its difficulties, but when it works, it REALLY works. So, to sum up all of that, I am happy. Happy for a restful (yet productive) summer and happy for what's ahead!
Creating Season 3 Before it's Too Late!
After making 15 incredible episodes with more than 20 of my closest friends in Season 1, I wanted to keep the momentum going more than anything. As someone who loves consistency, it broke my heart that I couldn't create 15 even better episodes for Season 2 in 2022. At the time, I was balancing two part-time jobs, an unpaid internship, finishing up my master's program and searching for a teaching position for the fall. If you have been following me for a while, you knew all of that and also know that it's not me complaining or being upset, but rather, reminding my future self of that phase of life.
Flash forward to 2023, I felt the pressure (that comes from myself) to release another batch of episodes and label it Season 3 to keep up with the years that seem to be speeding by faster and faster. Season 2 ended up only being 5 episodes but I remind myself that it shouldn't be viewed as "only" but rather, should be celebrated. I love my podcast for so many reasons: connecting with friends, taking an hour from my busy life to just have fun, spreading positivity and reminding my guest that they are amazing for being who they are but the biggest aspect is the virtual time capsule I am building.
I have no idea how long I will keep up with this podcast but I am setting a goal to create five episodes per year and in a perfect world, that means at least five more guests. Now that I have my own apartment and don't have to worry about a roommate eavesdropping, I feel much more motivated to film and edit more episodes! The first installment of Season 3 arrived a few days ago and I have two more ready to go! That means to keep up with my own goal, I will film two more and it's looking promising!
Another thing I like to keep in mind is that I never want to be stressed about this podcast or blog or channel because it's a project I want to be proud of. So far, I would say I am doing a pretty good job of creating content when I want to and not feeling like I have to, but instead, I post when I want to and what I want. The viewers come and go but the feeling I receive after finalizing the edits or synching up the music perfectly never goes away. I can't wait to see what comes next but I also want to appreciate the time now! Go watch Season 3 Episode 1 with Krista and Abby now and be on the lookout for Corrin's episode later this month! Stay validating!
The Transition into Twenty-Four
However, I was scheduled to move into my new apartment on the last day of June so as nice as it was to lay around all day without a care in the world, I had to start packing! I knew I had a lot of stuff but it seems to multiply when I attempt to pack everything into boxes. Books, video games, clothes school supplies, food and so many other little things that I barely even think about had to be emptied out of my old place and be transported to the new one. I was so excited to find a one-bedroom apartment so roommates are a thing of the past but that also meant more shopping!
I am eternally grateful for my sister and her boyfriend who spent their entire Saturday helping me and it was going rather smoothly until we had one last large piece of furniture... a couch. This couch is what I grew up with back in my childhood home and it was annoying to move but it's comfy, large and has a special place in my heart. So you can imagine the disappointment and frustration when this couch couldn't fit inside my new door! No matter how we turned or pivoted it, the thing would just not squeeze inside. It is currently sitting near my dumpster, soaking wet and probably infested with rats.
It's still very sad to me and it truly feels like an end of an era but I have already found a new and improved couch that is on its way. I am praying it fits and looks/feels good in the space. Once that gets sorted out, I still need kitchen chairs, a microwave and maybe a bookshelf. However, my bedroom has a wonderful carpet and my bed, desk, end tables and piano all fit without issues and my closet is huge! My living room and kitchen are slowly becoming more "homey" and all those small items are finding their new spot!
Just a few days after moving in, I drove up to Maine with my sister, her boyfriend and my oldest brother for the weekend after Independence Day. We had a rainy but fun holiday at my cousin's house and I had the best time hanging with my second cousin and his friends (who are elementary students). I haven't seen them in a while and they were so cute playing wiffle ball and I asked them all sorts of questions. We continued the tradition of playing Spoons, a very competitive card game that always ends with a ripped table cloth.
Once in Maine, we spent almost all day out by the lake, surrounded by even more family. I love this week because my parents fly up from Florida and we get to visit relatives from my mom and dad's side. Again, I gravitate towards the younger cousins that continue to grow and they were so much mature and thoughtful than just last year! We were sad that my older younger brother couldn't make it out but we look forward to August where we all plan to visit Florida. On Sunday, I celebrated my 24th birthday with running a 5K and hiking a large mountain. I felt very loved and appreciated those around me before we had to head back for work today!
As each year passes, I find myself achieving more than I thought possible and it's always great to be proud of the new and cherish the consistent, including family or friends that go out of their way to wish me a happy birthday. I am currently sitting in my new apartment, excited for my new couch to arrive later this week and eager to keep working as a tutor through my school's summer program! There are some slight changes ahead for next academic year but I am trying not to focus too much energy on that now and enjoy living in the moment! Here's to another great year!
Saying Farewell to my First Year
One aspect of this year that I found so interesting was that so many educators would approach me and question how I have been staying afloat with not only this new beginning but also because of my "heavy caseload". Everyone seemed to have their own challenges this academic year but with the ongoing and ever-changing demand that special educators are faced with, there seemed to be a dark cloud swirling over what I had been assigned with. But even with all that was thrown at me, I never saw it as a burden or an inconvenience, I viewed it as an opportunity.
The main reason I chose the path of teaching was that it's never boring. Some label it as unpredictable or impossible to balance, which it very well can be, but it's all worth it since I smile and laugh many times a day and create unique memories that I hope to always remember. Students at a young age have so much to offer and have the ability to spread joy in ways adults are jealous of. So, call this year whatever you want but I can confidently say that it didn't scare me away from this area of work... if anything it makes me more excited for what's ahead!
Through many conversations with my principal, we have both agreed that it will be best for me to stay with the same grade and still co-teach, but to be matched up with a different educator. Looking ahead, I can take this year and all that came with it, to then avoid any struggles and to focus more of my time and energy on best supporting my students. There have been so many ideas or possible lessons I wanted to try this past year but lack of confidence got in my way... my goal for next year is to limit the unreasonable doubt and push myself to do what I want!
My students were so adorable as they wrapped their arms around me and thanked me for a fun year. They only see about half of what goes into each day but it makes me feel all sorts of emotions as I watch my first class ever move onto third grade. In some ways, I feel like they still have so much to learn, socially and academically, before taking the next step but at the same time, they've all grown so much in their own ways that I feel like a proud parent.
I still wonder if there could've been more success throughout my year or the students could've made even more progress if I just figured out how to structure lessons a little bit sooner, but as always, I believe that everything happens for a reason. Just like I learned each day and had fun in the process, I hope my students will reflect on their second grade experience with happiness. For me, it's less about their reading or math ability, that's something that they can get from any teacher, I am more hopeful that each student had felt safe, encouraged and loved when they were with me. Thank you for a wonderful year to all of my students and I can't wait to do the same again next year!
A Magical Month
The highlight of April 2023 has to be my week in Florida. Although I do miss my parents throughout the year and always wonder how much easier life would be if they still lived in MA, I think visits like this past one make up for it. The winter months for teachers is always difficult because the students are trapped inside, there's a lot of pressure placed on everyone and we are all itching for another break to just breathe. I started counting down the days to this big trip to Disney World many months before, which I usually don't like to do but I couldn't contain my excitement.
Disney World was an integral part of my childhood and even as I get older, I still have so much fun exploring the unique lands and riding the roller coasters and rides. As amazing as it would've been to have my siblings there, it was still great to spend the time with my parents. We only spent two days and three nights in Orlando but we fit so much in. There were only a few things on my list we didn't get to but given the rain and people, I was so delighted with what we achieved. Best of all, after our jam-packed 2 days, we spent a few more days in their beautiful home with little to do.
As much as I love my job, colleagues and students, I felt like it was much needed to spend some time away and recharge my batteries. I love the feeling of not having anything on my mind and just enjoying the day with no worries! It was tough to return to reality but it didn't take long for me to remember why I chose my career path. My students truly make the long days and the stressful moments melt away. Although it's not always guaranteed, their innocence and respect for me is so rejuvenating and encourages me to come back each day with a smile.
I do have my difficulties when it comes to balancing the fun and the work but the more comfortable I feel with the school's community, the more opportunities I find. I hope to keep improving with finding the right amount of fun in work settings but for the rest of the day that allow for more freedom (lunch, recess, arrival, dismissal, after school, etc.) I have been having a great time. I am tasked with holding the front door open for the first 20 minutes of the day as the buses and walkers arrive. At first, I wasn't happy about it but now, I view as a quick interaction with the majority of the school to create relationships and a positive initial interaction to start their day.
As for the end of the day, hundreds of students are pushed into the gym and are expected to sit quietly in straight lines while they wait for their bus. Lately, I have been hopping from line to line introducing games and ways to pass the time and the kids love it. I am still attempting to have them play independently but as of now, they still rely on me to facilitate. It's still magical to watch various ages (between kindergarteners and 3rd graders) stop their problematic behaviors and listen to me so intently.
With a little over 20 days remaining of my first year of teaching, I am trying to soak in every moment, like I have been saying since I started. I have no idea what next year will bring but I know it's going to be so different yet so familiar. I am so excited for some time off during summer vacation but I am also excited to spend some of it preparing for the year ahead to help my future self. To end this post, I will remind myself of Michael Franti who creates some awesome positive music that I am currently listening to! :)